On Mother's Day...

Two weeks ago I celebrated Mother's Day in a very special way. I joined a young couple as they welcomed their first baby into the world. To become a mother on Mother's Day.... precious. What an amazing welcoming party it was! Family of two, became family of three. Husband became father, Wife... mother.
A beautiful transition that changed each person's life...Forever.
That tiny cry that told us she was here... and well.
And my eyes were filled with happy tears.
Birth is amazing. This one was filled with answered prayers... so many.
Healthy baby girl
Healthy momma, and proud daddy.
Peace, Strength, and Courage throughout.
And so much more.

I hope I never lose the wonder. I wish always to feel the awe of new birth. I hope I always tear up. Because it is such a beautiful, amazing, and miraculous experience.

On Anticipation....

I can't wait!
I can't wait!
It is so hard to believe that this is my life.
Every time I  say it, it tingles in my fingertips.
"I'm moving to the Philippines for two years!"
The days are flying by, sometimes too quickly, and other times too slowly.
Occasionally, they are moving by at exactly the right pace.
All the little details, falling into place.
One
    by
       One.
Trying to savor each day, and to prepare at the same time. 

 72.
That is the number of days.
Days to enjoy my family and my home.
Time to visit with friends and relatives.
To figure out what to pack...and what to let go of.

God has  been blessing so much. Visa application papers are coming along, and I found some scrubs. God used a dear sweet girl to bless me with a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff. And He really blessed my sales of hair accessories at the Delafield Art Walk. I still have inventory here.

He is providing in so many ways, and I am so thankful. It truly is beyond what I dare to ask or imagine. This heart is thankful.

But I don't Get It....

But I don't get it....
I was thinking about some different situations in my life. Things that have brought me pain. Situations God has allowed, but I don't understand.
Loved ones taken... seemingly prematurely.
Friendships lost.... seemingly unnecessarily.
Conflict.... unresolved
Needs... unmet
Things I cannot make sense of.
Why?
God has a reason for everything He does; for all that He allows. Sometimes, we can see those reasons. Even days, weeks, or years later, the reasons begin to become clear. Other times, it requires faith. That recent pain, so fresh in my heart, and I cannot find an answer.
Why God?
What are you trying to teach me?
Like a loving Father, He is there. The pain that He allows is for my good. It may be like the pain of discipline required to teach a child not to run into the street.... a temporary, but necessary pain. Or, it may be like teaching a child moderation in consumption of cookies... a life lesson in self-denial and temperance, ultimately for well-being of the child. The benefits of the first are immediately realized. The second may only be realized later in life, or never completely understood. But both are for good.

I don't understand this pain, but I'm learning that part of faith is giving up the right to understand. I don't understand why God would allow something that seems so good to be taken from me. I don't see a reason.
But I will trust.

Why?
Why will I trust?
How can I know that God isn't just treating me with cruel hands, playing with my emotions, breaking my heart?
Because there are other things that I don't understand.
I don't understand why God has chosen to love me.
I don't know why He chooses to give me grace rather than justice.
I don't understand why He doesn't give up.
I don't understand why He has chosen to use me on the mission field.
I don't get it.

This lack of understanding lends perspective to the other. It shows me God's heart toward me.
It teaches me to trust.

On Going With the Flow....

I sat on a fallen tree, centered over the lazy creek, dropping pieces of bark into the water one by one. Then I watched them float. Some quickly caught the mid-stream current and made a fairly fast cruise downstream. Others spun along near the edges of the current, tracing lazy circles or getting caught in the weeds along the edge. Some started out quickly, but left the main current and lodged along the side of the banks. Still others did not look nearly as promising initially, but quickly caught  on and sailed away.
As I was talking with God, I asked him if there was a lesson in those pieces of bark. The words that came to mind were, Go with the Flow. I thought about how important it is, spiritually, to make sure we are in the current of God's will. And I repented for the many times I've drifted out of that current, and been side-tracked and waylayed by the things life had to offer.  But I need God. I need Him to be the driving force in my life. I need to be carried away with following Him.

So I am praying that God will teach me more and more, my need for Him. I pray that dependance will become a normal thing for me. I am begging God to keep me from being side-tracked by all the insignificant things life has to offer. And I guess I'm just striving now, to go with His flow.

Reflections

So I went for a walk today... Just me and God. We had a lot to talk about. And I just wanted to be with Him. This crazy life I live, it's not exactly slowing down any time soon. But I need God in it. So I hiked some beautiful trails, and climbed out on a dead tree over the creek and just talked with God.

 As I looked down into the reflections, I noticed how fuzzy they were. How dull, and unlike the real, vibrant forest around me. And, of course, this set me to thinking. I think usually what we see of life is kinda like those reflections. We get the gist of what is reality, but usually, we don't see life for what it really is. Instead, we are frustrated with the ill-defined shapes and colors we perceive, and we neglect to look up. To look at REALITY. Because most of the clarity comes when we put these things in an eternal, God-centered perspective. It is only then, through the eyes of faith, that we can see and appreciate the beauty God is working in our lives. Only then can we begin to understand.

 I'm so thankful for all the beauty God created around me. I'm thankful for the warm weather we are enjoying, and the chance to appreciate this beauty. I'm thankful for the color yellow. Colors are great, but yellow is particularly grand.

And I'm thankful for eyes to see, and a heart to perceive the beauty God is creating all around me.