I wish I were Brave...

I wish I were brave.
That my heart was stuffed full of courage.
That it didn't hurt to make choices that are different.
I wish I were free.
From this need to feel everything.
From the conflicting desires for comfort and control.
I wish I were cool.
So that change wouldn't phase me.
So I'd know how to be when there aren't any rules.
I wish I were gentle.
When I speak and when I respond.
When with others and toward myself.
I wish it made sense.
To give and forgive.
To let others in, and to let them go.
I wish I understood.
What it means to 'cast my care'.
What it looks like to 'count all but loss'.
I wish, and I work, and I wait.
Until the reflection of Glory is all others see.
Until my heart is established in courage not my own.