There are Times....

There are times I look out the back window, and see a palm tree, and I cannot believe that is normal.
              When I realize that looking for snakes while walking down my road is a new
               normal.
              When the person driving me home pulls the car over to pick up a coconut on the
               road.... Breakfast, clearly. But that's normal.
              When picking exotic and beautiful tropical flowers on the walk to clinic is just
               another day.

There are times when I climb into a jeepney with 18 Filipinos and smile at the little girl across from me because I'm the only white person.
               And when I watch that dapper fellow help the sleepy 5 year old off the jeepney
               and swoon  just a little.
               When I walk into the mall and see the elderly man being helped along by his
                loving daughter... also normal.
               When I stare at that white person, and wonder what on earth they're doing
                here... until I remember, I'm white too.

There are times I think I am literally boiling in my own sweat.
                The times when one fan blowing on me is not enough.
                Times when I consider the shade of a telephone pole a welcome relief.
                When I dry off from a shower, but I'm still wet... with sweat.
                Times when I wake up prematurely, because the sweat dripping down me tickles.

There are times when I love long walks on sunny but breezy days, and I have little to carry.
                And when my shoulders hurt from carrying my 30lb backpack for my 23 minute
                walk each way to the clinic... 2-4 times a day.
                When a motor bike or bicycle sound like they would be the greatest invention of
                all history.
                When my gigantic sun hat is the only thing that makes the walk bearable.
                 And when I feel very Filipino with my sweat rag in hand.

There are times I love the hustle and bustle of people and life all around me.
                 And times I want to hear only silence for a moment.
                 When the next horn that beeps at me, or the next guy who yells will push me
                  past my limit.
                 When I can't understand everything being said to me.... even when its in
                  'English'.
                 Times I wish language wasn't so isolating.

There are times I really NEED to create something.

So I do....