Sunday, July 22, 2012

On Joy and Sorrow...

As the train pulled away from the station, a lump grew in my throat. I watched my sister growing smaller and tried to memorize her face. I knew it would be the last time I saw her for at least a year. And the sorrow grew as I realized that in just three weeks, I would be pulling away on another train, watching my family and hometown grow to be small, distant memories. And I felt sad.

 I noticed the bruises all over myself. Thinking back to the moments they were created while playing 'Tackle Down" with my nephews, I felt so sad to know they'd be so much older next time I saw them. To realize that my niece wouldn't remember me any more when I saw her again. And I felt sad.
 
As I talked with God about my sadness...I asked Him why it had to hurt. And I felt Him speak to my heart. It is the blessings and joys that I've experienced that make me sad. It is because I've had so much good, that it is difficult to leave. So now, I am happy that I feel sad. I am trying to embrace the feelings of sorrow, remembering the joy-filled moments that cause the sorrow.
In fact, it would be much sadder if I DIDN'T feel sad. If there was nothing good to leave.
It is the amazing friends, family, and church that I have. Each relationship, a different size and shape; each taking a different place in my heart. Each a gift from God, wrapped in a unique package. I'm so thankful for each of you who has been one of God's blessings in my life. Each of you has brought joy to my days, and as a result, each of you are a part of this sorrow I feel. This joyful sorrow that symbolizes all of the love I know. Thank you God, for filling my life with wonderful people!

Friday, July 20, 2012

On the Number 12

The number 12 is an interesting number.
Its the quantity by which eggs are purchased.
It is the number of the tribes of Israel.
It is the age directly preceding ones embarkation into the teenage years.
It is the smallest number with six divisors.
It is the number of months in a year.
It is the number of inches in a foot.
It is the number of fingers Goliath had.
It is the number of days until I leave.
Today, lets celebrate the number twelve, shall we?
 

Monday, July 9, 2012

On This and That....

 I am now the possessor of these two fancy-dancy, uber formal, somewhat expensive pieces of paper. After sending them hither, thither, and yon, I believe they finally have enough stamps, ribbons, and gold seals to satisfy any visa examiner.
My bedroom now has a new addition. My trusty suitcase. My bookshelves are emptying, my walls look sparse. Winter clothing has found new homes, and much of my sewing/crafting stash has taken up new residence.
 Scrubs, bedsheets, and a few odd pieces of clothing have found their way into vacuum sealed travel bags. Because the time is fast approaching. This week has been full of good times with family, as we took a 'last' trip together. Goodbyes are coming closer and closer together now, and I am finding them increasingly difficult. Yet my heart is so sure. I am so confident of God's calling in this, and I stand strong in knowing that His ways are good, and He never gives more than we can handle.
Excitement is mounting day by day. I cannot wait to taste, touch, smell this new land that will become my home. I cannot wait to know the people, learn the culture, and speak the language. I cannot wait to catch babies and share Jesus day by day. Truly, this is a great work. Here am I Lord, send me.