On the Tragic Truth...

She clenched the sheets as another contraction hugged her pregnant belly. Her body tense, she was not very responsive to our coaching. There was something more going on. The pain etched on her face was not just physical pain. It was always there. The result of a deep, deep wound nobody should have to feel. 

As another contraction tightened its grip on her beautiful rounded belly, she turned her head, fighting the pain.Suddenly I understood... No husband, only a friend... so much fear.  The desire for physical comfort as her fingers dug deeply into my hand, yet the fear of physical contact and exposure as she resisted the midwife's attempts to check her progress. As she was engulfed in the tide that was the next contraction, the far-away look returned to her eyes and the pain distorted her young, beautiful face. She grabbed my forearms and buried her face in my lap, almost crawling into my lap to be held and comforted. I murmured the few Visayan words I knew, mixed with English. "Pray for me!" she begged.... and I gladly complied, shocked at what I now understood.

It was the deeds of darkness, now brought to light. The things nobody should have to experience, and this beautiful young woman was giving birth to the fruits of those deeds. I wanted to feel her pain with her... to take it away. But I couldn't. These are the people God is choosing to love through me. They are the reason I'm here. And that face filled with fear and pain.... It is the face of more than just that dear little buntis. It is the face of so many woman here. 97% to be precise.  This, my friends, is the tragic truth.

On Dreams...

Follow your dreams.
Quite possibly the worst advice ever given.
Because fallible people dream fallible dreams.
Countless times in over a quarter of a century, I have laid down my dreams.
Given up what could've been.
I have dreamed again and again...
Always hoping.
Trying desperately to understand God's plan for me.
And why my dreams didn't match up.
The elusive 'plan for my life' that I was repeatedly told existed.
Watching small pieces fall into place, but always watching...waiting....
Living in the things I knew, but always hoping for more.
It would be better, I was told.
But it was so hard to internalize.
Better than this dream?
Better than this godly man? This profession? Than this lifestyle? This country? This ministry?
Better than what I want so badly?
Yet in faith and hope, I waited, watched, and wondered.
And here I am, 26 years down the road... living the dream.
All of them, rolled into one.
And I couldn't be happier.
All the things that could've been, pale in comparison... 
His plans were so much better. So amazingly perfect for me.
But He knew that all along.

On the Call....

The bus trip was long and bumpy. Village after village came and went. Field after field.... Banana trees, pineapple fields, water buffalo hitched to homemade plows. Rice patties, corn fields with tall palm trees scattered throughout, fruit stands; the huge bus blowing its horn like a train.... move or die. Its ok for the gigantic bus to tailgate a motor bike or tricey, and it's ok to pass on a four lane highway by using the lane of the oncoming traffic. The roads were really good.... except where they weren't. The washboard that was the asphalt, rolling and crumbling beneath the fast-moving tires. Rounding that tight mountain curve at 40 or 50 only to see the under-side of the 18 wheeled flatbed that had just unsuccessfully tried the curve we were now flying toward.
 
Movies in Visayan...I can't follow them yet. Trying to sleep, but the movie that's playing seems entirely composed of screams, heavy breathing, and gun shots. Feeling the need to rescue somebody every time I'm just nodding off. Starting at 3am makes for a long day.

Feeling so overwhelmed by the number of people we have passed. Those little huts that each represent a family. Do they know? Have they heard? Who will tell them? God! My heart aches for them to know You! But how will they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how will they hear without a Preacher?

And still more fields. As the morning progresses, people are tending those fields. As far as the eye can see there are rows upon rows of fruits and vegetables.... And two or three bent backs and straw hats... laboring. So much work left to do.

And I remembered...
 
This is how God feels. This is why He told us...

John 4:25 Behold, I say unto you, Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest. 

Again, my heart felt so full. Just like these huge fields, and so few laborers, so it is with the gospel. It is here, it is available, and so many have not heard...

Matthew 9:37-38 Then saith he unto his disciples, The harvest truly [is] plenteous, but the laborers [are] few; Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth laborers into his harvest.

So I pray. God, please send laborers into these fields. Have mercy on all these souls. Let them hear! Send reapers for your harvest. God, send others, and God, send me! 

On a Pretty Perfect Day....

So, I turned 26 on Tuesday. It was a pretty perfect day.

This momentous occasion was preceded on Monday night by a gift from a dear friend here in the Phils.....

Pickles! No better way to celebrate!

Another great friend gave me a loaf of fresh raisin bread so my breakfast would be special...

It was so yummy! 

I had made some little treats to share with all my friends and co-missionaries.... Little boxes filled with candy! 

 Two of my house mates and I decided to explore a local market for fun!

Check out the size of these fish!

 

 Fish heads for added yumminess! I actually tried fish eyeballs. They aren't bad!






This is the market where we buy at least half of our groceries.

 Fresh veggies! Vegetables are SO inexpensive! We can get about four bags of vegetables for maybe the equivalent of $8.

Everyone needs a source for that occasional recipe that calls for chicken feet, right? Well, look no further... They are a good price!

Liver lovers, you're in luck!

And those pickled pig's feet you were planning to make? Yup, we can get the ingredients here too.

These hand-woven baskets are beautiful! 

Fresh spices in measured amounts. These probably are about 1.5 tsp. each. It is very common for things to be sold in small quantities as the mindset here is very "in the moment". Planning ahead is not really a concept here, and buying in bulk is often more expensive than buying individual or portion sized items.

Rice.... It makes every food a little better.

We also checked out the beautiful blooms. Turns out that fresh arrangements are just over $1 at the market.

At the market, there are plenty of beggars. My organization encourages us not to give them money, but rather to support the local ministries and resources available to them. This way, we are enabling long-term aid, not just supporting a begging habit. I did, however, take two Badjao girls to Jollibee for breakfast. They were beyond thrilled, and it did my heart good even though they speak a dialect I do not know, and I couldn't speak with them.

Taxi-ing it up on the way to our next adventure... another market and lunch!

The food ALL looked delicious!

For P45, or roughly $1, I could get a vegetable, rice, meat dish, iced tea, and eggdrop soup. It seams that seafood in some creamy-ish sauce qualifies here as a 'vegetable'. Funny, in US, they would charge extra for that....

Enjoying a tentacle I found in my lunch.

Mussels and Lumpia (springrolls...kinda).

Jeepney rides home from market....

And finally, we met at the mall to fulfill my real birthday wish... We rode the motorized animals. These things are hilarious. They have an accelerator, a steering wheel, and a button that makes shooting noises. They also play you music while you ride! I think they were maybe invented for kids, but age should not limit your fun-having-ability.

Here is the lineup! They move at a couple miles an hour, have no track, and are able to be operated by small children. So hilarious!











I was able to wrangle my giraffe and keep her in control.

Then I took my picture with a really cute girl in the alley on my way home. I'd call that a good day, eh?




So the big question is How does it feel? To be 26.
                                                                        So old is the implication.
To that my answer is, I cannot rejoice enough in the grace of God! I am so blessed, content, and at peace. I am so sure that I am in God's will, and our fellowship has been sweet. This past year has been such a tribute to the goodness of God, and this next will be more of the same. I am really enjoying my 20's. 
Every moment.
I love where God has brought me in this life. He has given me a heart full of His goodness, and a life above my wildest dreams. I truly am living the dream, and this is my reality.

On my birthday, I was reading Proverbs 4:18

But the path of the just [is] as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.

And I realized.

This is my life.

I feel like it just keeps getting brighter and brighter... Like the rising sun.

 Until the day when I will see Jesus... 

The Perfect Day. 

On Another Big Night...

 So Friday night was another big night for me.
I helped to name a baby.
"How did this happen?" you may ask. Good question. In fact, I was just about to tell you.

At about 1:58 pm a woman came into the clinic at which I volunteer. She was very buntis (pregnant). Before we even finished endorsements (the passing on of information at shift changes), Karen and I went in to be with her. This woman was stoic. Usually, you can kinda tell if a woman is about 5 minutes from giving birth. Seriously though at 2:40.... you would never have known. I was told, at about 2:47 pm that we might be able to see some head with the next busog (contraction). This is how it went:
1cm visible
3cm
5..6..7..head out!
with nucal hand
baby out! 
I grabbed a clip board, and started writing things furiously, as all of these things need to be recorded in her charts as they happen... and I'm not even 'allowed' to chart at this point! The time, as the first gasping cries were heard, was 2:48. In less than 60 seconds, a little life was brought to light and begun.
A few hours later, we went in to bathe, measure, and check the baby. They didn't have a name for him, we were told... could we pick a name? Karen and I looked at each other, aghast. Name your baby?! So we prayed over the little fellow, and started talking about names. The result?

Meet baby Noah. May his family follow him to God, just as Noah's family followed. God, please make baby Noah a leader in his generation...A man faithful to You!

Another remarkable incident from Friday night was the 7.9 earthquake. Boy does that ever feel weird! It lasted a good 2 minutes or so (felt more like 15). You feel kinda dizzy for a while after... it sorta feels like riding a small raft on a river. Praise God for keeping us all safe! Yay for first experiences!

On Pieces of My Life...

The other night was quite eventful. As a thunderstorm rolled in, my housemate and I sat down to celebrate the completion of our first assignment with a movie. The thunder grew louder and louder, and rain was pouring down really hard! Suddenly, there was a huge crack/crash sound. Quickly, we got up and ran outside. Lo and behold, the intense amount of rain had caused our gutter to buckle! Water was pounding of the roof... the most water pressure we'd seen in a month. So Nancy, another housemate, and I went out and showered in it....shampoo and all.

After that adventure, Sarah and I got back to our movie.... and then the roaches came out to play.
But two can play that game.
Now, I am a mighty cockroach hunter.

Really... I am. 
Back to our celebration.
Another huge crash, bang, boom! Creak....k....k.... Crash!
Uh.... what was that?!
I opened the side door and looked out.... oh... It seems a tree fell on our house. Thankfully, not a very big one. 

                                 Quite the night, as you can see! We did eventually get our movie in.
In other news, some of our co-workers put on a nutrition dinner. They were given a pretty tight budget, and had to cook healthy food for 12, including one buntis (pregnant woman). In order to make it more realistic for them, a bunch of us dressed up as mga buntis.

So, if you've ever wondered what I'd look like 9 months pregnant with twins, wonder no more! There it is, folks!

God has been ministering to me in various ways. One of these ways is through the music in the shopping malls. First let me tell you, I have heard more American pop music in the 3 weeks I've been here, than in the last year or so at home! It is everywhere. The kinda cool part, is that due to both the religiosity here, and to the lack of English fluency, Christian music is also pretty common. I heard this in the mall the other day. Your Love is Extravagant
 It really blessed me.

Plus also, the kids here are really cute. THE END.