On Joy and Sorrow...

As the train pulled away from the station, a lump grew in my throat. I watched my sister growing smaller and tried to memorize her face. I knew it would be the last time I saw her for at least a year. And the sorrow grew as I realized that in just three weeks, I would be pulling away on another train, watching my family and hometown grow to be small, distant memories. And I felt sad.

 I noticed the bruises all over myself. Thinking back to the moments they were created while playing 'Tackle Down" with my nephews, I felt so sad to know they'd be so much older next time I saw them. To realize that my niece wouldn't remember me any more when I saw her again. And I felt sad.

 
As I talked with God about my sadness...I asked Him why it had to hurt. And I felt Him speak to my heart. It is the blessings and joys that I've experienced that make me sad. It is because I've had so much good, that it is difficult to leave. So now, I am happy that I feel sad. I am trying to embrace the feelings of sorrow, remembering the joy-filled moments that cause the sorrow.
In fact, it would be much sadder if I DIDN'T feel sad. If there was nothing good to leave.
It is the amazing friends, family, and church that I have. Each relationship, a different size and shape; each taking a different place in my heart. Each a gift from God, wrapped in a unique package. I'm so thankful for each of you who has been one of God's blessings in my life. Each of you has brought joy to my days, and as a result, each of you are a part of this sorrow I feel. This joyful sorrow that symbolizes all of the love I know. Thank you God, for filling my life with wonderful people!